What Kind of Impact
A Teacher Aide Error Can Have?

Teacher or teacher aide errors can offset your work as a parent in building a wealth mindset for your child. Usually such errors are minimal and are offset by great positive reinforcement from such a bad role model.

What follows is an example of my experience with a child educator when the errors were so obvious that I couldn't believe I was seeing them actually happening:

I was substituting in a class of pre-school children, age 4. These were special needs children with various handicaps - autism, muscular dystrophy, etc. The one teacher aide was taking control of the class since no plans had been left for me.

In front of the eight children as they sat in a circle, the aide made a major error as she described each child to me: "this one is very smart but is a handful; I just let him do as he wishes, it's easier that way". Or: "this one says nothing and does nothing". Or: "this one is like the exorcist--her voice even changes".

These children were being labeled at 4 years old!

How much work will that child and other people need to do to undo the damage of this teacher aide words? The teacher can think what she wishes, but expressing such negative thoughts in front of the children is so damaging!

This same teacher aide had an excellent art project involving gluing paper balls on the legs of a paper spider.

The children were enjoying doing it. Some put many balls on the legs; others put just a few on. I was complimenting them on their work and collecting it as they finished. However, another teacher aide error occurred when one child was reprimanded by the aide for not putting enough balls on the legs. She even told him she would not put it on the wall with the others unless he put more on.

Believe it or not, the child started to cry after having been proud of his work just a moment before!

When I told the teacher aid I had already told him that his work looked fine, she told me he needed more practice with his manual dexterity. Point of information - he had a good distribution of balls over all the legs.

All of us justify to ourselves clear reasons giving us permission to be negative to our children... usually in the name of a long-term benefit to the child.

Certainly, limits need to be set, requirements need to be stated, consequences need to be given, but never should a child's vision of him or herself be dirtied because of your words or actions!

If that child educator had a certain requirement for each child in creating the spider, such as how many balls to use, then that should have been stated in the beginning, along with the consequences for not making the requirement. If the child did not meet that requirement, even after positive encouragement, then the already known consequences should be given.

The child needs to see he or she has a choice, with consequences occurring as a result of each choice.

I later learned this teacher aide was under a great deal of stress that day. Her sister was going for a third mammogram with the suspicion of breast cancer - a disease other members of the family had died from. Naturally the aide would not have been as clear thinking as at other times.

But it is at times like that when we must try doubly hard to watch the words that come out of our mouths and the actions we do. Those words and actions of authority figures will have the same effect on the positive self-talk of others, no matter your feelings today.

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